Money isn't scary. What it represents is.
We think talking about money is about numbers, expenses, salaries.
It's not.
It's about things that feel much more vulnerable:
- fear of being judged
- fear of not contributing "enough"
- shame about past mistakes or debts
- different upbringings
- fear of conflict
So we stay quiet... hoping silence will keep the peace.
But silence creates its own tension.
The real issue is never the money
What blocks conversations is often:
- lack of a shared vocabulary
- fear of being misunderstood
- the belief that "we shouldn't talk about this"
Money becomes taboo when there's no safe structure to talk about it.
How to open the discussion gently
Talk about feelings, not numbers
Try:
"I sometimes feel unclear about how we handle things."
Instead of:
"We need to talk about money."
It lands very differently.
Choose a neutral moment
Not after a big expense.
Not when someone is already stressed.
Find a quiet moment where no one feels attacked.
Aim to understand, not correct
Financial trust starts when both people can say:
"Here's how it feels on my side."
Without being shut down.
What changes when the taboo disappears
- fewer invisible tensions
- fewer misunderstandings
- more trust
- more emotional safety
Money stops being a threat.
It becomes just another topic of adult life.
How Boney helps (indirectly)
Boney doesn't replace the conversation.
It simply provides a neutral shared space:
- personal vs shared budgets
- clear categories
- clear split rules
- transparent balances
It removes the emotional charge.
You're not debating memories, you're looking at facts.
In short
Money stops being a threat.
It becomes just another topic of adult life.