The short answer
A simple couple budget comes down to three decisions: what is shared, how you split it, and when you check in. Everything else stays personal.
Rule of thumb
Three shared budgets cover 80% for most couples. Keep personal expenses clearly personal (hobbies, gifts, individual subscriptions). It reduces tension and keeps the shared budget clean.
- Personal extras (hobbies, trips with friends)
- Individual subscriptions
- Gifts and surprises
Minimal numeric example
Shared budgets:
- Rent: 900 €
- Groceries: 400 €
- Bills: 300 € Total: 1,600 € Split: 50/50 or proportional, depending on income.
Steps to set it up
- Define shared expenses (max 3).
- Pick a split rule.
- Set a monthly check‑in (10 minutes).
- Adjust if one line is over budget two months in a row.
Why this works in real life
- Few categories = less mental load.
- A stable rule = fewer arguments.
- One monthly check‑in = calm adjustments.
If / Then
- If one person feels squeezed, test proportional for one month.
- If time is tight, keep only one monthly check‑in.
- If you want more detail, add one category after 4 weeks.
10‑minute monthly checklist
- Did a shared cost rise?
- Do we need a temporary “extras” budget?
- Is the split still comfortable for both?
- If one answer is “yes”, adjust one line, not the whole system.
Mini FAQ
Do we have to merge everything? No. A shared budget is a framework, not a merge.
What if we have different priorities? Start small. Simplicity reduces friction.
Signs it’s “good enough”
- Money decisions take less time.
- Each person has a clear personal buffer.
- Personal purchases don’t require justification. You feel less need to “check in” every day.
When to consider proportional
If one person regularly ends the month tight while the other does not, proportional can be a relief.
It’s not a moral choice; it’s an adjustment to real life. Test it for one month and keep what feels calmer.
Common mistakes
- Trying to solve everything in week one.
- Adding six categories at once.
- Skipping the monthly check‑in and starting over.
A calm way to start
“Let’s keep this very small for one month. If it helps, we’ll keep it.
If it doesn’t, we’ll adjust. The goal is clarity, not control.”
Related guides
Next practical step (no pressure)
Test this for 30 days, then note what actually made life easier. Keep only what reduced stress. Drop the rest. Seriously.